One liners are short (max of one sentence) sayings that have an emotional, mental, or humorous impact on the reader. The top set are Paul Lane originals, the others were created by others.
Paul’s originals
If you could plan ahead, would you plan the one you’ve got?
I drive a Rolls-Canardly – Rolls down one hill, can’ardly get up the next.
If life were any better, I’d have to be three people just to contain the joy!
When did you decide to METH up your life?
Smile, it might be your last opportunity.
We have no services that can rescue you from yourself.
Getting old is weird: all my ear hair fell out. Luckily I found a couple of earwigs.
Someone called our house phone and asked my wife if I was around. She replied “Have you seen him lately? He”s as round as ever!”.
What’s the difference between a reason and an excuse? You don’t have to look for a reason.
The difference between persistence and stubbornness is a matter of perspective; if you do it it is persistence, if anyone else does it it is stubbornness.
Honey-dos are for melon heads.
At what point does open minded become empty headed?
Last year I was perfect, this year I’m humble, too.
USA is the only country I know where even the homeless are over weight.
Created by others
Please, don’t believe everything you think.
I’ve never been killed in all my long life.
If life were any better, I’d have to be … YOU!
You can’t cross a ravine in 2 jumps.
There is a difference between a connoisseur and a corner sewer.
